Crucial Conversations
How did your most recent crucial (or potentially difficult) conversation go?
Did emotions take over and those of you involved end up shouting, talking angrily or going quiet on the other?
I remember helping my mum fill up her car with fuel on day, and a man in a large truck started shouting at her because she hadn’t parked close enough to the pump for him to get past easily.
I came round the car and waded into the conversation, determined to defend mum from this aggression, especially as she was obviously in a wheelchair and driving an adapted car.
Was I right to step in?
I would still say I was right to stand up for my mum, but looking back, I know I could have dealt with it better.
Crucial Conversations are the sort of interactions where the stakes are high, there are strong emotions or differing views, resulting in the people involved in the conversation feeling unsafe, letting emotions take over and resulting in them closing off or blowing up.
In my example- the truck driver had probably already had a difficult day and was reacting to another difficult driver. He may not have noticed that she was in a wheelchair, but once he started shouting and I waded in, he didn’t feel he could back down.
The book “Crucial Conversations” by Kerry Patterson is an invaluable tool for dealing with such situations, helping me and you recognise what we truly want and avoid the temptation to think there are only two options (argue or avoid the situation).
When we learn to keep our emotions in check, share our views persuasively & help the other person state their views, we can start to master these difficult conversations, improving the outcomes and achieving positive results.
So when you next get into an argument over a parking space, who last emptied the bin or what is expected at work, remember-there aren’t just the two options of avoidance or arguments- there is another way….
For more information and prices for individual coaching, conflict resolution coaching or partnerships at work contact me: vicki@multiplycoaching.com
