What is the role of a mediator?

How are your work relationships right now?

Do you know your colleagues are there for you, supporting you and encouraging you… or is your workplace sometimes a war zone- a place of conflict and high emotion?

Many of us are struggling with conflict right now, whether it is in the workplace, or families, in our communities or elsewhere. Often we can smooth over or resolve the conflict, but sometimes, conflict becomes so bitter or destructive that a mediator has to be employed.

So what should we expect of a mediator?

We listen to each party individually, ensuring that they have an opportunity to work out what would be a preferable outcome for each of them. Then we bring the two parties together- looking to bring a shared outcome and working toward that outcome together.

Often it is like the 2 parties aren’t prepared to look at each other, but are able to look at and communicate with the mediator as they pull both parties toward the goal. If some sort of agreement and actions can be reached between the parties, we work through how each party acts if the disagreement issue happens again- what each party has permission to do or not do.

For example- I worked as a mediator in a company where 2 people were not able to talk or work together at all. The one party was “sick and tired” of putting up with the “overbearing, loudly spoken, pushy, know-it-all” (the other party). In the end- the quieter person had enough and broke- shouting, slamming doors then ending up being signed off work.

I talked with both parties and both of them were extremely affected by the disagreement- feeling stressed, needing antidepressants and time off work. The relationship had broken and neither party could see a way forward.

Shared outcome

Both parties identified to me that they wanted to be able to work in a more peaceful environment. We used this as the main aim for the mediation and looked at how certain behaviours from each party had contributed toward the conflict.

We then looked at specific ways forward and developed a plan that included actions for each party if they felt the agreement actions had been broken.

The 2 parties are not best friends, but are able to now work productively together, helping their mental and physical health, saving their company thousands in sick pay and having a positive impact on all who work with them.

If you want to find out more about mediation, conflict management, coaching or helping your team work well together, please contact vicki@multiplycoaching.com